Adjusting

Sunday was a nightmare. Big Sis was here all last week, then left a little after the memorial service on Saturday, and Sunday was my first day alone all day with Bugalug. I woke up with a headache that nothing could tame. I would randomly start crying, which made it ten times worse. I tried taking a nap with her, but it was even worse yet when I woke up. Ibuprofen helped a little after that, but mostly just upset my stomach. Couldn't wait for bedtime.

I woke up yesterday feeling better, but the holiday was hard. He really enjoyed going all out for the holidays. I made a decision to keep my emotions in check for that one day, and I mostly managed. It helped that Big Sis stopped back by. I have some running to do this morning, so she offered to stay the night and watch Bugalug this morning. I need to get her up and around so I can do that, but I know she was up late last night.

First thing I need to do is go to the bank. My account has been inaccessible all weekend, though I can still see it online. I'm assuming it's because he's gone (it's a shared account). I tried to deposit a check at the ATM and the transaction was declined. But I just noticed that my YMCA membership came out, but since I couldn't make the deposit, there's no money in the account to cover it. I know they're going to want the death certificate, but I don't have those yet. As if it weren't enough that I'm suddenly a single mother who hasn't worked in months because I was needed at home more.

We had a lot of rain and it got chilly over the weekend. He would have had the heat on and I would have been annoyed. I don't miss arguing over the thermostat, but I would gladly argue over it every day if it meant he were back to argue with.

I feel like I should get Bugalug back on track with school, but there's too much to do today. I may just put it off one more week, though she and Big Sis might do a little bit while I'm gone, which would be just fine, too.